Calm down, girl.

Well, I'm not in the exam mood, but I having depression deeply.

I started to stay alone once over again when schooling time. I thought that i will be happy and enjoy my life with my buddy but I think I'm wrong. Since I'm a person who likes to think much than others then I should accept that ' My mind is totally not controlled by myself right now'.

Last time when I was just 15-year old, I will never had any negative thinking in my mind. In my life that time, I was just enjoyable and be an ordinary girl as usual. But now, what had going on? It is the first time that I cannot concentrate and feels panic when my exam! Why? Especially on the Mathematics paper, I feels like very suffer when doing all that! Is it I have not prepare well on my exam? I don't think so.

I have thousand of words want to out our here. Sigh =(

Siew Rhong said: ''今天又将会是第几个不眠之夜？'' *headache*

忘记了昨天，回到了今天。

我忘了昨天是那么的开心，而今天是像户外的天气一样的晴天霹雳。
看到了一些不应该看的东西，也证实了一些。
我只能说，能免则免。

最近不喜欢参你们了，感觉不对，我还是喜欢自己一个人。
在此声明，
每个拜六打羽球我不去了，不想帮羽球场抹地板。

很多事情我只看在眼里不说出来，
可这并不代表我不懂！

进到这间学校只能说是我的不幸，
要转校几次都失败，
像ah soh所说的，
你们两姐妹真的不适合读这间学校。
当初单纯的我认为我不会面对跟我姐一样的问题，
但我错了，
那只是时机未到。

我不喜欢被抛弃的感觉，
在你们还没抛弃我之前我得先抛弃你们。
反正还剩几个月，
能忍则忍吧，
不想理会那些不相干的事情，
和一些不理智的理科生。

我知道这是我成长过程必经之路，
我得含泪播种，因为我知道我必定能微笑收割。

p/s: 每当我自豪的认为我们的感情已不是问题是，往往在这时候问题就立刻出现。
原来5SSI快变成一滩散沙了，无奈。

兩天后 =( ♥ 95 DAYS ♥

毀了。

又是一個遺憾。
我很累，
‘你’讓我的生活變得精彩，
但也讓我精神崩潰。

我每一天的努力都抵不過自己的緊張，
我好沒用。
我只能說‘我沒盡到本份’，
來這抱怨也是于事無補。

可是從這次的教訓中，
讓我從睡夢中蘇醒，
不是最后一份的努力能讓你更在美好，
而是你努力揣摩，跌到了在爬起，才是最完美的。

P/s: SPMN 我不會放過你的！

失眠

失眠之夜。
是那杯咖啡珍珠奶茶在作祟，
还是心事重重？

谁晓得？

矛盾的心情又再次涌上心头。
痛苦的感觉。


大哭一场，
是个良好大解决方案，
但事后头好痛哦 ><





想起七二四那天，
很开心的玩着，
可内心深处确实迷糊着。


但在那我学到了好多，
‘想好的，做好的，听好的，看好的’
是我最大的感触，
‘简单的事情重复做’
是个我最大的启发。


回家后，
我有了自我催眠的一套，
‘让时间的走动来证明一切’
只要这么想，
我才会有那股力量去做我想要做的。


加油吧！
你们也是呀！


P/s : 写完部落的感觉这好 :)
心情变好多了。

那片乌云，何时能散开呢？

这压抑的心情，相信你们都感受到了吧？
那感觉都让大家都不好受，
怎么我们总是都在纠纷中？
我真的不想再这样下去，
就算自己开心，但看到周遭的你们不开心，
我也开心不起 :(

现在已经是六月中了，
离我们的毕业日子不远，
能不能珍惜接下来在一起的日子呢？
正说我，相见容易相识难，
既然都已相识了，
那为何不忍让，我行我素呢？

去年我所想象的中五生涯很现实的差异很大，
也令我失望透底，
但我知道还有挽回的余地，
只需要你们的配合。

告诉我，你们能帮我一个忙吗？
我只想你们全部解开心中的迷，
走回那从前开心的回忆，好吗？ :'(

5SI, you may do it if you really wan it back. GAMBATEH!

I cannot Tahan liaw!!!!

Haiz~~

tis few days i cant slp well as i can~although i'm really tired ady, but still keep dreaming at thr thinking sumting tat imposible n many else~ bsides, now i'm moody too~ i hav alot of thing to say at here, but i think i'm quite speechless de lo~~ARG!!!!!!!!!

when i cant slp, i will think alot of the weird question n ask myself y tat should thouse thing be like tat?? I always think about tat y nowadays i had changed alot?? Last time when i was just step in the secondary sch i was a kindly, shamefull, keep smile at all the time, wont easy get angry my frend even tat they ar wrong, n easy get bully (actually not bully la, just chun zhen lo)...

but now, the 1 i am form 4 had changed in all the aspek as my attitude, my style talk wif fren (sumtime time easy get angry), always absent for sch attendents, n getting lazy to do my hw as well~~

WTH??wat is the main problem n cause me till like tis?? stressfull?? useless?? pengaruh rakan sebaya??(like writing karangan) my feeling get hurt from sum1??frends prob?? answer is I DUN NOE!!!

For me, frends is plying a very very importants role in my life~ although tis few year i had noe many new frends n they ar kindly n frendly but tats not I 1. I just wan a few best frend always walk or stand or even pangsai 2gether...but i think i hav no such the best frend in my life...

Today at school, i din ask anyfrend to accompony me line up when perhimpunan~ the 1 who onli talk wif me is just Shahidah (my malay's best frend) ,mayqi n wan teng onli~ others they just talk themselves n din chat v me at all if got tats just asking me about the folio onli...when tat time, i really get hurt~ I just noe i always ALONE in sch~

n yet, tis is not i perasan, it is happened since few months ago!!!
every time nid i mention just care about me, do u all noe i also a human being, i also nid sumbody care, n tis cause me not dare to couple wif guys~


now is just 12.06am onli, but i had already 28 hours din slp~haiz~


even tat my parents also dun noe my feeling now, just few boy's frend caring about me....thx guys~(not my peminat==)


sumtime really hard to make a decided :'(

一？那又怎样？

星期一。我一点也不喜欢。

每个星期的第一天让我觉得很有恐惧感，

那时间的压迫，令我感到害怕。

那种感觉又来了，

我不想，真的不想。。。

很多事情我选择逃避，

不去追问，

补习后的心情总是让我不开心，

这是很没有逻辑的心情。。

我需要你的帮忙，

你真的很好，跟你聊真的无所不谈```

聊完之后觉得轻松多了。。

最近心情总是怪怪的，

真怕会有忧郁症><

.:再也回不到从前:.

反复的心情使我感到严恶。


朋友究竟是什么？
是拿来利用？
用完就丢？

还是当你有心事时和你谈谈心，
当你不开心时和你一起发泄？

一天比一天的心情更加沉重，
喜悦就只有在一瞬间擦肩而过，
能否让我停下来休息，
不要再为难我了？

我希望回到从前那开朗又活泼的我，
可是，这有可能吗？

朋友让我在一瞬间没有了神情，
默默的一个人呆着就是我最好的选择。

就像昨天的combine meet,
虽然是很好玩，
可是我一点都不享受那个过程，
我变得不懂如何跟人家沟通，
不懂如何跟人家说多点话，
那是因为我很久都没有跟朋友嘻哈过日子？

在我生日那天，
我不渴望有多华丽多昂贵的礼物，
我只需能够享受你们为我准备的一些，
留下美好的回忆。。

可是，看来我想太多了。
我不再有任何感觉，
就因为你们，
我傻了～

我永远都回不到从前的我。。。

Wat the...

My heart i getting hurt but no body know. When i very cool, it is meant by i am very angry or sad-ing...2day the whole day i nv talking so much wif every 1. i acting cool n emo~ because some of the reason, mayb i will become sot n even dun wanna talk wif any1... i dun like tis feeling, but hav no body can help me... i dun noe how to frend wif u all d, sry to say tat...